Who knows?

Updated: Aug 13, 2022

I picked up a small yellow book while visiting my mother in Jamaica the other day. Dance First, Think Later. It caught my eye – could've been the title, or maybe the cover design. Who knows? It sat atop a small pile of books on her dresser.

I began flicking through the pages and quickly saw it was a collection of quotes. My rapid scanning and flicking stopped as I came across a neatly folded-over page. I smiled, knowing that I was now retracing fingers that had gone before me. With a touch of trepidation, I slowed down to absorb the words on that particular page. It was headed up Rule No. 305, and it read:

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” – Steve Jobs

My breath caught.

There I was, on my third trip to Jamaica, in the aftermath of my father's sudden passing a few months prior. I had spent weeks at my parents' home at this point in 2022 and I tried to recall if I'd seen this book before. I shook my head while answering "Don't think so...but who knows?" to myself. It was likely there all along but I hadn't seen it.

You know that feeling when you know something is true, even though you have no proof?

I had that feeling.

This book belonged to my father. I know this even without him there to confirm it.

He creased that page. I know this even without him there to confirm it.

I was meant to read it then. I know this even without him there to confirm it.

With that realization, I took the book to his chair a few steps away and went searching for additional dog-eared pages in his book. I was both excited and anxious to see what was there for me to uncover. Here's what I found.

“Get and stay out of your comfort zone. I believe that not much happens of any significance when we’re in our comfort zone.” - Bob Parsons.

“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s not, it’s experience.” - Victoria Holt